Ashwini has decided to fight

Ashwini was rattled and shocked when her husband committed suicide. It was the auspicious Ganesh festival and the family was happily celebrating. Sunil performed the rituals devotedly. Nobody in the family was aware of what was going on in his mind. The next day he was found hanging from the fan with a saree tangled around his neck. Ashwini and her three kids were in complete shock. Ashwini was in a traumatic condition.

Ashwini Chavan (32) who resides in Pimpri-Chinchwad studied till 7th standard. She was married to Sunil in 2007.  They used to live in a village but later shifted to the city in search of livelihood. Ashwini gave birth to a daughter a year after her marriage and in later years she also delivered a boy and a girl.

Sunil worked as a driver and meanwhile started drinking heavily.  He lost his job because of his drinking habit. Ashwini was left with no choice but to work. She prepares tiffin and serves as a cook in 4-5 houses per day. But despite all these efforts, she had to suffer at Sunil’s hands. He drank and beat her brutally and ruthlessly.

“I was fed up with everything,” says Ashwini. Every evening when Ashwini got back from work, Sunil fought with her. He beat her and forced her to give money to buy alcohol. Moreover, Sunil also had to pay off debts taken by many people. “The stress of repaying the debts might have led him to give up on his life”, said Ashwini.

But she never thought of ending her life. Unlike her husband who decided to commit suicide, Ashwini vouched to fight all the odds and raise her children. Family problems and illness were the major causes of suicides, accounting for 33.2 per cent and 18.6 per cent, respectively, in 2021. Drug abuse and/or alcoholic addiction (6.4 per cent) and marriage-related issues (4.8 per cent) are some other reasons why people commit suicide according to the National Family Health Survey ( NFHS-5).

The motivation 

After her husband’s death, the only motivation Ashwini had, were her children. Relatives didn’t support her in any way. She received no help from them. She said, “All alone, I gathered the strength for my children. I decided to get back to work rather than sitting disheartened at home.” 

“My kids are my responsibility; I gave birth to them and I have to look after them and their future”, she added.

With the determination of giving her children and herself a better life, she moved forward.  

It is difficult for her to manage the rent of her house, pay light bills, etc. There are no savings for her family at the end of the month after making all the necessary payments. Ashwini’s children are studying well at government schools, she intends to educate them diligently. 

The Covid-19 pandemic period was one more adversity for Ashwini and her family. They had to cut on meals due to the unavailability of food and financial condition. She sought help from people she works for and passed this hardship too.

The survival 

She says that it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone in society. There is always insecurity at the back of her mind. People behave weirdly, she says. It is an arduous journey to overcome and stand all by herself. She said, “Never be dependent on anyone. Come what may, even if you fall or fail, always learn to get up and continue walking by yourself.”

Ashwini is an example of a strong and independent woman who aims for a better future for herself and her family. It is certainly not easy for a single woman to survive in a male-dominated society. But Ashwini and many like her are putting up a tough fight against all the challenges. She has decided to fight and not run away from the battle filed.